Hello everyone! Today’s blog post was actually suggested by one of my really good friends so thanks to her! I can already tell it will be one of my faves and I am so excited to write this.
I want to talk about the way society portrays males and female, the way they have expectations from us and the way we are made to feel we should come across as.
Starting of with males:
When a boy is at the age of 7-11 they often start to realise their ‘role’ in society and at this point they start realising what is expected from them being a male. This point in life I would say is pretty important because it could/probably does shape a person for their teenage years. They are often told by people around them, mainly parents that as a boy they should be strong and should not cry when they are hurt. When they turn 12-16, they start to see other boys and want to be more like them, celebrities with great bodies, celebrities they find cool etc, which can lead to a lot of damage later on. As they get older they start to believe they have to impress/be cool for girls to like them, for them to find love and when they are not like other boys they are put down and many times, by their own friends.
This is a big one, boys are told right from the beginning that they should NOT CRY. A boy will usually then grow up thinking as a male they have to prove they are strong and do not cry. This is the way society tells them to be and come across as. Why? Why are boys told they shouldn’t cry because it is a sign of weakness. Like I said, what they are told right from childhood is what will shape them as when they are older. Now this is what I think. Boys have the right to cry when they need to/ want to. Why is crying seen as a sign of weakness when it is something completely natural? Boys will often cry alone rather than in front of people/ a person which again, is not what they should be taught to do. Being alone will usually/ most likely make them feel alone and as if they cannot open up to anyone when in reality they are allowed to express their emotions because it would actually be much more appreciated by others, well personally for me it would.
The way society makes boys/men feel they should look. This once again is another big one. This is so important and I feel as though it is not talked about as much as it should be. Male celebrities often look a certain way which is ‘attractive’, I’m not saying this is the case with every male, but many times they feel as though they need to look a certain way, have a body with abs and strong arms which will once again make them come across as ‘masculine’ and strong. A lot of the times they also feel in order to have successful love life, they have to look ‘attractive’. I believe this is so wrong and this isn’t what males should be shown/ feel the need to do! Boys don’t need to have the ‘perfect’ society shown body or the ‘perfect’ facial structure to feel good/ come across as attractive. Attractive means A LOT of things. One can simply treat a person with so much love and kindness and you will instantly come across as attractive. Being polite, having good manners, treating others equally is SO MUCH MORE attractive than having good looks. A man can look so good but actually have the worst personality ever so what is the point of that?
One last thing from a lot more I’m going to talk about is the way men are told to be the ones providing in a relationship. Yes, I know we have come a long way from when cases like this were worse however this is still happening in the world. Men are made to feel like they should be the one protecting their significant other and they should provide them with what they want and need. Yes, women’s rights have come a long way too but again , in some places this isn’t the case. In my opinion, men shouldn’t feel like they have to be the ones providing and protecting in a relationship/friendship. A woman is also allowed to provide for a man when he needs/wants it. Men are also told that it is embarrassing if they cannot give a woman what she needs but this is NOT TRUE! All a man should be giving to their partner is love. That is all a woman wants and needs therefore males should not be told by society that they are ‘low’ if they cannot meet societies expectations.
Starting from the beginning again, females are told to ‘look pretty’, be ‘ladylike’, know how to cook and clean etc. Just like males, girls/women are also constantly told all their lives they need to look a certain way, yes, this isn’t always directly told but it is the way society hints it. This also links to the males section about crying. Girls are told/shown that it is okay to cry, they can cry and it wouldn’t really matter. But if crying is linked with weakness in terms of boys then isn’t society completely saying that women are weak? Girls are also shown by celebrities that they should look a certain way in order to be successful or do what they want to and like males, have a successful love life, this also isn’t right, a woman can find love without meeting expectations of society.
Starting by ‘being ladylike’. To society, girls have to be well-mannered, stay calm and classy. They must not be rude, laugh loud or say something a lady wouldn’t say. WHAT IS THIS! Women are expected to stay quiet and to not ‘blend in’ with boys/men. They are made to look a certain way, they should know what to wear at whatever function there is. They should look ‘attractive’ in a way that people will say ‘She’s the perfect woman’. This phrase itself proves the way society perceives a ‘perfect woman’. Truth is there is no such thing a perfect woman. “When sitting down, cross your legs”. Why can we just not sit the way WE feel comfortable, why do we have to meet these expectations in order to be liked? A woman does not need to wear pretty clothes, wear makeup and have feminine qualities in order to be ‘attractive’. Once again attractive means a lot. A woman can walk around with no makeup, sweatpants and still have attractive qualities about her which someone will love!
The fact that people still think women should automatically know how to cook and clean is beyond me. Cooking and being in the kitchen is a role of women from many many years ago so I am not saying it is still the same because I am aware A LOT has changed since then, and there has been a lot of progress, however, in certain places/ certain people still believe that women should know how to cook and clean because it’s a necessity for them. This is not true! A woman should only be doing these things if she is passionate about it. She does not need to be made felt she needs to have these qualities because she really doesn’t! A man can also take up this role or even split it which is even better and how it should be. Cooking is not something that’s very necessary, it should only be done/learnt if you are passionate about it but you should not be doing it because you feel like you HAVE TO.
Some extra things/opinions:
- Yes I know that things I talked about are having progress made on however I feel like the issues need to be heard a lot more by a lot of people.
- The roles of men and women change through the years however society remains the same on the indie, even thought they may conform to what the new people say they will not really believe it (I know this isn’t everyone).
- There are a lot more issues between the social roles of the men and women which I have not spoken about. Some of them are, mannerisms, friends, body language, equal pay etc.
I hope everyone enjoyed reading this, I would go on forever about this however there is only so much I can write. Thank you for reading!