INVALIDATION, a male perspective

They say those you love the most,

Are the ones who will hurt you the most.

But why?

When you love someone and trust them,

Why would you think to invalidate them?

Today he felt the most invalidation from someone he really trusted. Even seeing this written would make them say “he’s so dramatic”, “it’s not that deep”. How dare you, how dare you invalidate the way he feels, how dare you tell him what he’s feeling isn’t what he should feel. All he asks of you is to hear him. He’s never felt so unheard by a friend before. All his friends have always respected his boundaries, always respected his feelings and reactions even if they don’t understand it. Making a “joke” about something that is truly affecting him negatively makes him feel like absolute crap. It makes him think “am I being dramatic?” How dare you make him feel like that? What gives you the right to make him feel that way? You have no right to telling HIM what HE’S supposed to be feeling. A friend is supposed to listen to you even if they have nothing to say, all he ask is to be heard because he trust you. A friend is supposed let you be excited about things even if it doesn’t excite them. Yet you always shut him down, even for the smallest of things.

Are boys not allowed to feel insecure? Why? I’m human too, with the same feelings and hearts as the rest, why is it my heart that is to be shielded from all emotion? 

I’m human, don’t invalidate me because of your ‘manly’ expectations.


Hi everyone! Hope you are doing well in this terrible time we are all going through, I hope you are all safe. Today I am going to be talking about substance abuse in the youth. Although this is not something I relate to or struggle with, I know people who do relate as well as this being a huge topic in our society!

So what is substance abuse? The official definition of substance abuse is using drugs in a way which is harmful to yourself and/or other people around you. I myself would also define it this way, I believe substance abuse is using drugs which can be harmful to yourself, however, I do not completely believe it should always be seen in a bad light as one of my friends who can relate to the topic defined it as, “using a substance to emotionally or physically dampen your emotions and experiences”. (I am aware they are harmful to oneself and should be avoided at all costs.) I am going to be talking about what causes a person to take drugs, why it is a problem/why it may not be a problem and why it is common in the youth. (1 in 5 teens go through substance abuse which is a huge amount!)

What actually causes a person to start using drugs then? One of the things that can cause a person to start taking drugs at a young age can be peer pressure as well as the area a person grows up in. For example, a young person aged 12 may have older people living around them who use drugs which may add curiosity to the child to use the drugs, or to wonder why the older people use drugs. However, this is not the case for everyone, although peer pressure may be the cause for some people which eventually leads to addiction, it is not the case for many. Once again a friend who can relate to this had said people around him had always done drugs when he was a kid but he did not feel the need to do it because of them, it was his personal choice. So what might cause this personal choice for some young people? One of the things could be using drugs as a coping mechanism. (7% of teenagers use drugs as a coping mechanism.) Young people, especially teenagers go through many mental health problems which they prefer to keep to themselves, things like this can lead to seeing drugs as a way to ease their minds and forget the problems they are going through in the moment, there are many ways in which teens cope with their problems, drugs are one of them.

One of the other things which can  cause a person to take drugs regularly is the bond is allows you to create with others. This is also a reference from a friend who said “sometimes it’s less about the drugs and more about seeing my friends, it brings us together and gives us something to do”. This in NO WAY makes it okay to use drugs, however, I am stating one of the reasons a young person may take drugs. Especially during your teens, friendship is something of value which you never want to lose, therefore, may go to lengths like this to keep you and your friends together. The constant using of drugs because of wanting to be with friends or using it to forget the state of your mental health for a few moments is what leads to addiction eventually.

Addiction is a serious condition and detrimental to health. Here are some of the health problems which can occur due to addiction. Emotional and physical effects. Emotional effects can include depression, violence, mood swings and even hallucinations. These effects can be worrying to the person especially at a young age. Physical effects include things like irregular heartbeat and to an extent, even a heart attack. Obviously these effects are very scary! Of course substance abuse can also have legal consequences which teens do not want to face.

So there are a few things which can be used to avoid/stop taking drugs. One of the main things is parents being involved in their child’s life in the right way! Ask your children if they are okay, DO NOT invade their privacy when they ask for it, respect works both ways! Try looking for alternatives to dealing with problems or wanting to get distracted rom drugs. Pick up a hobby of your choice and put all your focus in to that. If you are trying to forget your thoughts and ease your mind, instead of turning to drugs, cry it out if you need to! Go outside and scream as loud as you want, go to someone you trust and cry it out to them, tell them what you’re going through!

PS: Obviously I am NOT a professional so DO NOT take my word on everything said in this blog, these are all just my opinions and references from friends who can relate to the topic!

I hope you are all staying safe and AT HOME! Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy the rest of your day/night!

Saba x


I have always felt like an outsider, 
and today was no different.
Looking a certain way, people thinking you’re full of confidence,
It sucks.
Because that’s not me. 
The feeling knowing somebody doesn’t want you there,
The rush in my heart,
The blush on my cheeks.
The urge of wanting the earth to swallow you whole there and then.
Just when I think I’m getting better, 
The world shuts me down.

Will it ever stop?

Society stereotypes!

Hello everyone! Today’s blog post was actually suggested by one of my really good friends so thanks to her! I can already tell it will be one of my faves and I am so excited to write this.

I want to talk about the way society portrays males and female, the way they have expectations from us and the way we are made to feel we should come across as.

Starting of with males:

When a boy is at the age of 7-11 they often start to realise their ‘role’ in society and at this point they start realising what is expected from them being a male. This point in life I would say is pretty important because it could/probably does shape a person for their teenage years. They are often told by people around them, mainly parents that as a boy they should be strong and should not cry when they are hurt. When they turn 12-16, they start to see other boys and want to be more like them, celebrities with great bodies, celebrities they find cool etc, which can lead to a lot of damage later on. As they get older they start to believe they have to impress/be cool for girls to like them, for them to find love and when they are not like other boys they are put down and many times, by their own friends.

This is a big one, boys are told right from the beginning that they should NOT CRY. A boy will usually then grow up thinking as a male they have to prove they are strong and do not cry. This is the way society tells them to be and come across as. Why? Why are boys told they shouldn’t cry because it is a sign of weakness. Like I said, what they are told right from childhood is what will shape them as when they are older. Now this is what I think. Boys have the right to cry when they need to/ want to. Why is crying seen as a sign of weakness when it is something completely natural? Boys will often cry alone rather than in front of people/ a person which again, is not what they should be taught to do. Being alone will usually/ most likely make them feel alone and as if they cannot open up to anyone when in reality they are allowed to express their emotions because it would actually be much more appreciated by others, well personally for me it would.

The way society makes boys/men feel they should look. This once again is another big one. This is so important and I feel as though it is not talked about as much as it should be. Male celebrities often look a certain way which is ‘attractive’, I’m not saying this is the case with every male, but many times they feel as though they need to look a certain way, have a body with abs and strong arms which will once again make them come across as ‘masculine’ and strong. A lot of the times they also feel in order to have successful love life, they have to look ‘attractive’. I believe this is so wrong and this isn’t what males should be shown/ feel the need to do! Boys don’t need to have the ‘perfect’ society shown body or the ‘perfect’ facial structure to feel good/ come across as attractive. Attractive means A LOT of things. One can simply treat a person with so much love and kindness and you will instantly come across as attractive. Being polite, having good manners, treating others equally is SO MUCH MORE attractive than having good looks. A man can look so good but actually have the worst personality ever so what is the point of that?

One last thing from a lot more I’m going to talk about is the way men are told to be the ones providing in a relationship. Yes, I know we have come a long way from when cases like this were worse however this is still happening in the world. Men are made to feel like they should be the one protecting their significant other and they should provide them with what they want and need. Yes, women’s rights have come a long way too but again , in some places this isn’t the case. In my opinion, men shouldn’t feel like they have to be the ones providing and protecting in a relationship/friendship. A woman is also allowed to provide for a man when he needs/wants it. Men are also told that it is embarrassing if they cannot give a woman what she needs but this is NOT TRUE! All a man should be giving to their partner is love. That is all a woman wants and needs therefore males should not be told by society that they are ‘low’ if they cannot meet societies expectations.


Starting from the beginning again, females are told to ‘look pretty’, be ‘ladylike’, know how to cook and clean etc. Just like males, girls/women are also constantly told all their lives they need to look a certain way, yes, this isn’t always directly told but it is the way society hints it. This also links to the males section about crying. Girls are told/shown that it is okay to cry, they can cry and it wouldn’t really matter. But if crying is linked with weakness in terms of boys then isn’t society completely saying that women are weak? Girls are also shown by celebrities that they should look a certain way in order to be successful or do what they want to and like males, have a successful love life, this also isn’t right, a woman can find love without meeting expectations of society.

Starting by ‘being ladylike’. To society, girls have to be well-mannered, stay calm and classy. They must not be rude, laugh loud or say something a lady wouldn’t say. WHAT IS THIS! Women are expected to stay quiet and to not ‘blend in’ with boys/men. They are made to look a certain way, they should know what to wear at whatever function there is. They should look ‘attractive’ in a way that people will say ‘She’s the perfect woman’. This phrase itself proves the way society perceives a ‘perfect woman’. Truth is there is no such thing a perfect woman. “When sitting down, cross your legs”. Why can we just not sit the way WE feel comfortable, why do we have to meet these expectations in order to be liked? A woman does not need to wear pretty clothes, wear makeup and have feminine qualities in order to be ‘attractive’. Once again attractive means a lot. A woman can walk around with no makeup, sweatpants and still have attractive qualities about her which someone will love!

The fact that people still think women should automatically know how to cook and clean is beyond me. Cooking and being in the kitchen is a role of women from many many years ago so I am not saying it is still the same because I am aware A LOT has changed since then, and there has been a lot of progress, however, in certain places/ certain people still believe that women should know how to cook and clean because it’s a necessity for them. This is not true! A woman should only be doing these things if she is passionate about it. She does not need to be made felt she needs to have these qualities because she really doesn’t! A man can also take up this role or even split it which is even better and how it should be. Cooking is not something that’s very necessary, it should only be done/learnt if you are passionate about it but you should not be doing it because you feel like you HAVE TO.

Some extra things/opinions:

  • Yes I know that things I talked about are having progress made on however I feel like the issues need to be heard a lot more by a lot of people.
  • The roles of men and women change through the years however society remains the same on the indie, even thought they may conform to what the new people say they will not really believe it (I know this isn’t everyone).
  • There are a lot more issues between the social roles of the men and women which I have not spoken about. Some of them are, mannerisms, friends, body language, equal pay etc.

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this, I would go on forever about this however there is only so much I can write. Thank you for reading!

Saba x

This entry was posted on October 24, 2018. 3 Comments

Products that I’m currently loving!

Hi everyone, so before this post I had written a whole post on something very deep but then  I crossed it all off and I’m ending up writing this because who gives a damn about anything deep, it’ll only make things worse, so lets just get on with what the purpose of this blog actually is which is beauty!

So today I will be talking about some new beauty products I have been using and loving, makeup as well as skincare products. Some products I talk about will be some that I have already mentioned but that’s only because I love them!

Starting with skincare, if you have read previous posts then you will know how much I LOVE using the ‘simple’ brand skincare products. And guess what, I have still been using and loving their products. I know they probably don’t work for everyone but they definitely work keeping my skin pretty clear.

I have always used the exfoliating facewash and the wipes to remove my makeup however, I have also been using a new product which is the ‘spotless skin rapid action spot zapper’.  This is a spot zapper which is obviously explained in the name. This has genuinely helped a lot, every time that I get a spot I use this after washing my face so basically before going to bed so it can stay there all night and usually by the morning the spot/s will be down or completely gone! I never thought spot zappers work but this actually worked so I totally recommend. I also use the ‘simple’ toner which helps keep the skin fresh, I only use this around once a week. I have not really been using new skincare products however there is new makeup I’ve been using!

Starting off with the base, I don’t really use foundation anymore unless it is an occasional time, I only use concealer. The concealer I have been using is the ‘Tarte shape tape concealer’. The shades that I use are ‘light-medium’ on my face then ‘fair’ under my eyes. These concealers are really amazing, I’ve always wanted to use them but never did however, now they are the only ones I use! The reason I like them is because they have great coverage as well as not looking super cakey and cracking throughout the day. For setting the concealer, I use the ‘Laura mercier translucent powder’. This powder is GLORIOUS! It really keeps your face set throughout the entire day and prevents under eyes from creasing, I really do recommend this.

I often get asked what product I use for my eyebrows and honestly I don’t even use actual eyebrow products, I just use black eyeshadow out of any of the W7 eyeshadow pallets. This is because I naturally have thick and very dark eyebrows so its the easiest option for me.

Some new eyeshadow pallets that I’ve been using are the ‘Morphe 350M natural glow pallet’ and the ‘120 coloured pallet’. The Morphe pallet is one that’s a lot more natural and one you could use for everyday so I have been using that on a day to day basis however the 120 pallet is one with bright colours so I really love experimenting with different looks and colours from that pallet. It is a really great and very pigmented, long lasting eyeshadow pallet and I have being loving using it. It is also great for using other people as it is really easy to blend and create fun looks with! Eye liner is something I use every single day and absolutely love it. I have been using the ‘Revlon colour stay liquid liner’ and this has a great tip that allows you to make precise lines and keep it neat! If you know me you will know I have TINY eyelashes which is so annoying but the ‘Maybelline lash sensational’ mascara has been great! It makes my lashes look longer, more curled and also lasts all day!

I have always used the ‘Kat Von D’ pallet for contour which is nothing new really as well as the revolution highlighter which is always amazing for me! Finally for lipstick I can’t really pick one as there are so many amazing ones however I haven’t really been using lipstick on an everyday basis, I only use tinted lip balm!

That is all for today and I hope you guys enjoyed reading this! I do have a few more ideas for next few posts so hopefully they will be more regular!

Snap –

Saba x

Nightmares coming true 😂😓

Hi guys, it’s been so long and I’ve missed writing on here, I’m really sorry I’ve been having exams and a few things have been happening that I’m going to talk about here.

So first of all my Tooth situation:

Right so a few months ago I had these really inexplicable headaches which I honestly could not describe how they felt. It started with a pain in my gums which then moved up to only the right side of my head. I got these headaches for around 1 – 2 months. It was so bad that one day I actually thought I’d die, i screamed out to my mum because i couldn’t breath. The worst thing was that these headaches would come at random times, and mostly would last the entire night. It was absolutely horrible. So I dealt with that for a few months resulting in me taking a lot of paracetamols which I hate taking, but I had to do it.

So all of a sudden the pains just stopped and I was so happy and relieved because exam season was coming up and I knew I wouldn’t be able to study with them headaches. So about 2 months go by and I feel a weird pain in my jaw on the right side once again. That same night I got the same headache and I honestly wanted to rip my head open because I really didn’t want this to happen whilst I’m doing my exams. But once again I had to deal with it, however this time i let my parents know the same day. So the next day I woke up to excruciating pain in my jaw and my head, and guess what, I had an exam that morning! So I was horrified but obviously still went to school because of the exam. I sat the exam whilst in pain (probably done the worst on that one). And now I had the entire day ahead of me, I barely spoke to anyone the whole day so sorry to my friends for being moody! When I got home I was in so much pain and hit the bed straight away. Luckily my dad had made an emergency appointment with the dentist and I was very impatient so I said we should go right there and then. I went, he checked my tooth and said there’s a hole in the tooth and that it has to be extracted. Now, If you know me, you’d know how much I absolutely hate any sort of surgical procedure, no matter how small or big it is. I HATE IT! But of course I had to think about the aftermath and how I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain again. So he extracted my tooth straight away! And the tooth I must say was so stubborn to come out, it was horrible, it hurt towards the end although I was injected for numbing. But once again the thought of not having to deal with the pain was comforting. So it was finally out and oh my gosh, the tooth was so deep it was a literal fang!! I was so happy it was out and my headache had gone straight away!

So now the recovery, so the dentist had told me it will take a few days to fully get better however the recovery process was very painful I must say! The next day I also got a fever which made it worse. I couldn’t eat, drink, nothing! So about 8 days go by and the pain has now gone and I’m finally happy!

My situation at the moment:

So about 2 or 3 days after the tooth ache had fully gone, I woke up with a fever again! And the next day with a cold! I still have the cold now leading up to a cough. Ugh it’s horrible. If any of you have any remedies for getting rid of a cold then make sure to let me know!!

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this horrific journey of mine over the past few weeks. Let me know what else you guys want me to do! Also if you have exams, comment what your next one is or how they’ve been going!

Lots of love, Saba x

Instagram- @bloggingforever



Wanting clearer skin; What to do & what to avoid!

Hi everyone, I hope your new year Is going great so far and If it isn’t then don’t worry, you won’t be drowned in sadness and stress forever! So today I wanted to talk about wanting clear skin. Personally I don’t struggle too much with my skin, I get a few pimples now and then, however I know many people who don’t have the best skin, so I’m going to be talking about what I use on my skin and what you can do for clearer skin!

Starting with diet! This is one of the biggest factors of having troubled skin. One of the main things that affect it is chocolate. Now of course everyone loves chocolate however it can be very harmful to the skin. Having a certain amount of chocolate will bring out the nastiness and make you have troubled skin. Scientifically chocolate increases the inflammatory of the skin causing acne. Therefore try avoiding chocolate as much as possible although it’s okay to have a few sometimes.

Water!!! I know many people say how drinking water helps skin and many people don’t believe this, however, I have found this really does work. Drinking a load of water is amazing for the body anyways but it’s great for the skin and this is because it contains natural minerals and ions which bring the best out of your skin. Water will leave your skin clear, soft and glowing!

A few things I do and use for my skin:

* I wear makeup almost everyday! Obviously this isn’t healthy for the skin however taking care of it will make up for it.

* I use most products from the brand ‘simple’. Personally for me I’ve found these products help keep my skin healthy.

* To remove my makeup, I use the simple wipes and sometimes I use the ‘makeup removing milk’ which removes access oils out of the skin.

* Washing my face, I use the ‘simple exfoliating gel’ and this is amazing as it exfoliates the skin removing the dead skin cells as well as removing all dirt and the makeup left behind!

* To moisturise I use a cold cream, you can use any moisturiser you like really!

Those are some of the things I do that help my skin!

I hope you guys enjoyed reading! Thank you,

Saba x

Things I learnt to leave behind in 2017💫

Hi everyone! I hope so far your 2018 is going well, mines been quite rocky but as they say January is a trial month, the real difference starts in February! Today I wanted to talk about the things that I want to leave behind in 2017 to make 2018 a more positive year! I hope this can inspire some of you, enjoy reading!

The first thing that I learnt in 2017 is that not everyone who seems to be your friend, is a true friend. I met so many amazing new people in 2017 that I know I could trust with everything, however I also found a few people who I’ve known for a long time, are not the best people. I’ve learnt that I need to be able to identify my real friends and I’m pretty much there really!

Secondly I’ve learnt to leave behind in 2017 is to not hurt yourself/ do things you dont want to for others. Do not try to impress others by doing things that hurt you or make you uncomfortable. Always make it about yourself because at the end when there’s no one, you have got to stand up for your own self and show that you’re stronger than people think!

I’ve also learnt to not hesitate being confident. I’ve struggled with confidence my whole life but 2017 really helped me boost it up. Like I said, I met so many new people and made new friends which I couldn’t have done without being confident. One of the most amazing things I did was be a part of the production of Les Miserable with Batley and Spen Theatre Company. I cannot stress enough how much this has helped me come out of my comfort zone in a good way!

And finally, I’ve learnt to leave all the people who brought negativity into my life behind. I’ve learnt to not hold on to people that you know are toxic for you, when you know someone isn’t good for you, weather that’s a family member, a boyfriend/girlfriend or a friend, just leave them because all they’ll do is upset you.

Those are all few of the many things I learnt in 2017, I hope you all enjoyed reading!

Thank you, Saba x

This entry was posted on January 5, 2018. 1 Comment

New year; NEW BLOG POSTS!!

Wow it really has been a long time!

Hi everyone, first of all. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope you all Lloyd had all had an amazing 2017 and I hope 2018 is even better!

I know it’s been so long since I’ve posted a blog and in extremely sorry for that! The reason why I’ve not posted is because I’ve been focusing more on school and also a lot of other work that needed attention. However now that it’s 2018 I am going to start posting a lot more!! I will be posting on lifestyle, health, beauty and much more. I have a few planned for the next few weeks and hope you guys enjoy them!

Once again, Happy new year! 

Saba x


Hi everyone! So today isn’t a usual post that I would do but it’s just to let you guys know why I havnt been posting since quite some time and also why I may not be posting for and few more weeks. 

So if you’re in the UK and between the age of 14-16 you probably have exams going on which is my case. So I have exams in just over a week and they’re my actual GCSE. So I’ve had my total focus on that and havnt really posted on here and also why I wont be posting for at least another 2 weeks, but after that I will try my best to upload as much as I can!

Thank you, Saba x